Sevilla Hasta la Muerte

There's not much I can say right now.
Actually, there's a lot I want to say, but I'd not finish writing in time to catch my plane. Plus, I don't know for sure how I'm feeling yet, so I can't put it in words.
It's close to 1a.m. and my time in Spain is coming to a close. Tonight was the goodbye party. Almost everyone from the school came. And for the last time.
The night started out really fun. We laughed, we drank, we took pictures and sang songs. Then, at eleven o'clock, we were sent out.
We stayed in the street in front of our school and discussed what to do next. Some people were going out because they won't be leaving tomorrow. The bar across the street was playing the Sevilla futbol game on TV, and only ten minutes after we'd left school, the game ended and Sevilla had officially won La Copa del Rey (It's like the Super Bowl).
Since then, and for the next several hours, the cars will be honking, people will be singing their team's songs and flags will be waved.
Yet this victory was not sweet enough to pull me out of the deep depression I've just entered.
As much as I want to go home, I realllllly want to stay.
Over the last four months, I've learned to live and think in a different way. Only now that it's over am I starting to realize how incredibly extraordinary that is.
I've been so so so (so x 1000000) lucky. I've been able to fulfill a dream I've had for years.
I finally studied abroad in a place that I now love. Sevilla hasta la muerte!!
I remember right before the Morocco trip, I told Angela, "I don't think I've ever had this many good days in a row," and it's continued to be absolutely true.
This is the most extraordinary city of any city I've ever been to. Anything you could want is here. It's in the oldest country in Europe, so it has a fascinating history that weaves in and out of the history of every other nation in the world. It has a vibrant and exciting culture. There is always some kind of special celebration going on here (For example: This morning I planned on sleeping in because it's technically my first day of summer vacation. Yet, I woke up to the sound of cannons going off. I still don't even know what they were for! But, I kid you not, there were cannons blasting in the streets. Then, I get a call from Angela, "I don't know where I am, Cece! There's some kind of parade and a ton of people out here, I got pushed out of my route to school. Help me! I have a final today! I have to get to school!!").
Not to mention, the food here is spectacular. Big fan. I heard that 6 of the 10 best restaurants in the WORLD are in Spain. WHOOOaaa
Anyway, I'm definitely going to miss my host mom. She has taken every measure necessary to help me and comfort me and she's taught me the entire time. She was so patient and compassionate. Not to mention, absolutely adorable!
My professors were amazing. The classes were pretty easy because they wanted to give us the chance to explore the city, country and world. So, we did.
I have met so many people. So many people, from so many countries. I've learned new things every day. Every day was different, every day had a lesson, and every day was an adventure.
My school was small enough to really get to know each person, and connect with them about something. We all knew each other and we all came to love each other. As we stood outside our school and cheered for our team's victory, I watched everyone interact... and there's whole a lotta love in this group.
As every one said goodbye they hugged and kissed. No apologies. Never a handshake. I wanted to say bye to all of them, but not actually have to leave any of them. We have bonded in such a major way. We'll forever share something that no one else will ever fully understand. Siempre joven!
As the group started dissipating, smaller groups left to various bars. The group growing a little smaller every minutes made me cry... right in the middle of the street. I do NOT like showing emotion in public, so you KNOW I had to be upset. Angela saw me crying and so she started crying. For a moment, I really thought I would be incapable of leaving.
We've set some pretty heavy roots down here.
I want to remember EVERY LITTLE THING about this city. It is all so beautiful and all so mine.
I cannot believe I have to go. I don't want to any more. I've changed my mind. I'll stay!
Life at home is going to be so foreign. I feel like I'm entering into something unknown. I honestly cannot picture myself at home this summer. I mean, what am I gonna DO?
I'm SOOoooo excited to see my family. I've really missed them. But, I feel like after I rest a little while and say hello, I should come back hahahah
Gosh, this is just crazy.
What an incredible gift these four months were. I'm just so sad it's over.